3 Simple Things I Learnt From My delivery | Part #3 of 3 | Recovering Postpartum

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After months of going through a difficult pregnancy, I couldn’t wait to look into my lil angel’s eyes and forget everything that had happened in the past 9 months. I was super scared for the delivery, and frightened to the extent of asking my doctor to just give me a General Anesthesia…knock me out…and hand me the baby like a pre-ordered much-awaited online shopping order. She wouldn’t have it. And I am mighty glad that my doctor had that kind of confidence in me…something which I lacked in myself.

You know how they say, that when you look at your baby…and hold him in your arms for the very first time…your whole world changes? It’s true. Within minutes I was a mother, taking charge of another Being (previously that would’ve meant looking after a drunk buddy post partying!). Each time I had hit panic button through my pregnancy, I distracted myself by dreaming about the beautiful phase awaiting. It was all going to be picture perfect from now on. I had everything organized in my head. I had a plan. And Oh!! How.Wrong.I.Was.

The first few days, are anything but easy. The following few weeks even tougher. If it’s easy making a baby, it’s a tremendous task in keeping the baby safe, healthy and thriving when they are out. I had faced a third degree episiotomy, breastfeeding was no walk in the park, getting up through deep sleep to calm an infant > change diapers > feed > burp > put them to sleep was all getting me brain fried. I was pretty close to punching faces who came to visit me and commented, “Isn’t motherhood bliss”. No. First month is anything but bliss. Its hard work, its crap. Yes, you see your baby and you WANT to do the best for them…but pushing your mental and physical abilities to endless limits is a test that requires a lot of patience….and a LOT of support from your spouse and family.

Here’s something I think that all women should be aware of post-delivery:

1.  Breastfeeding:

BreastFeeding is NOT easy, nor does the milk come in the way you expect. Don’t give up. Try try try and push for atleast a month before you give in to formula feed. I thought I was a pro after watching all those videos on YouTube, till reality hit home. Sore nipples, no ‘let down’ for a few days postpartum, everyone telling me that my baby was hungry so give formula, trying to pump milk to see how much I’m making (which isn’t even an indicator of how much milk one is making), major backaches due to constant bending over while nursing, and other such problems mounted. Not being able to even sit for nursing (due to stitches ‘down under’) just added to the whole stress. Correct latch was a problem for a month and I suffered!! Don’t do it to yourself. You will have other things to deal with as well. Remember…

  1. Please meet lactation consultants to help you and baby get a proper latch
  2. Use nursing pillows / lotsa pillows while nursing

2.  Support System:

I’m sure your spouse is going to pitch in as much as he can. But it’s an emotional and physical roller coaster ride for us. Boys can’t imagine what is going on, even when they ‘see’ everything and are a part of the whole journey with you. Be patient with him. But also TELL him what you want done. I think that the switch-over of roles (from being a daughter to a wife, and eventually from wife to a mother), comes much easier for women than for our men. It’s all too much to take in, and the lack of sleep is accompanied by a constant state of exhaustion with a ‘zombie’ like feeling. Brace yourself.

If you are lucky to have your mom come stay with you (which was in my case as I delivered at my parents home), she is going to be your bestest friend for some time. Don’t hesitate in learning from her. But also remember that at end of the day it’s YOUR baby, and they ALL have to follow YOUR lead. A lot of changes have come from when our mothers looked after us as babies, make sure you discuss how exactly you want your baby looked after and know what kind of assistance you need.

There are also many support groups online that provide you with an incredible amount of guidance and credible amount of information. I highly recommend joining them (search Facebook/Google).

3.  Always Remember:

We weren’t born pro moms. It’s OK to make mistakes, be unsure of what to do, and to ask for help and advice, from whoever you think will help you best with the particular issue you face. Everything will be trial and error till you and baby figure out what works best for you both.

Some Do’s and Don’ts At The End Of The Day :

  • Don’t EVER be guilty about not being able to keep everyone happy. The only person you need to think about is your baby for the next few months. Don’t even bother about what who thinks what. Haters will hate, talkers will talk.
  • Do take utmost care of your health too. If anything happens to you, who will the baby depend on? Your baby needs you for her existence, for a lifetime. Make yourself priority without any guilt!
  • Do Stay happy and healthy, babies pick up on positive vibes. And remember, each pregnancy is different.

So go without any pre conceived notions. Good luck and I’m very sure it’s all going to go smooth and perfect, as did mine ❤

READ 3 Simple Things I learnt From My Delivery | Part #1 of 3 | Pregnancy
READ Simple Things I Learnt From My Delivery | Part #2 of 3 | The Labor Room

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3 Simple Things I learnt From My Delivery | Part #1 of 3 | Pregnancy

The Mommy Blog

So here’s what happened when I got pregnant – I also found out that I wasn’t in for the ride alone. Not only was a very close friend of mine expecting a baby around the same time as me, but also an ex colleague, a friend from college, one from Post Grad., one of my cousins, a hubby’s friend, alongwith our very own Duchess of Cambridge Kate, and a few other celebrities from the Indian cinema and Hollywood who were all pregnant. Suddenly, it seemed the whole universe had conspired to get pregnant together 🙂

Mostly all of us were going to be First Time Mums (FTM), and just like that, we were all facing a million doubts, a billion emotions, and only a few gazillion questions that we all thought will never get answered. Somehow, signing up with different pregnancy websites and support groups didn’t seem enough. We needed real experiences, with first hand stories.

For me, the biggest fear was not knowing. And out of all the ‘not knowings’, the biggest was of what I was going to face in the delivery room. I was about to spend the next 40 weeks of my life worrying myself sick about that one day. And no matter how much everyone told me that I will ‘forget everything when I see my baby’, it did not convince me enough to think about it any less.

Not to mention that I had also made the grave mistake of watching all kinds of birthing videos, and jumping chapters on my books to read what happens during labor. I had now managed to completely freak myself out.

I promised all the friends delivering after me that I’ll answer ALL their questions. Worrying is not good for anyone pregnant. Especially someone like me who already faced excessive hair fall and a face full of zits thanks to the lovely hormonal changes! No one needs to add on to the list of things to worry about. So here are a few directives I doled out; to ensure my fellow FTMs did not face the same predicaments.

Each week I will endeavor to elaborate each directive and bring more clarity. If you have sailed in a similar ‘worry’ boat as me, I am quite sure you will find my observations interesting:

1.  Get the right Obstetrician/Gynecologist  –

We went to the ‘first available’ on the day. Learnt my lesson. She was anything but nice. I can handle ‘not nice but super efficient’. Can not handle ‘not nice and also pretty inefficient’. Made appointment with another, and then another. Sounds crazy, but we actually went window shopping for the right doctor. I eventually had to decide between – a sterling hospital but ‘okayish’ doctor OR a perfect doc in a not so refined hospital. I then decided to go to my hometown to deliver. Again scouted around and finally found the right match…good doc (check) and a great hospital (double check).

2.  Firmly request your doctor for a Normal Delivery –

Birth via cesareans is fast becoming a money making racket across the globe. Normal is best for you and your baby. Most of the c-sections being performed are for avoidable reasons and not so complicated medical conditions, and only because higher costs are incurred when one gets the c-section done. Here’s an extremely thought provoking read about the steep rise of cesareans in India. {Here}

3.  Ask questions to your doctor –

One of my previous doctors had told me “stop reading stuff on the internet”. That sounded the alarm bells right there! It is MY body and I have the full right to not only question what you are doing, but also be fully informed on the effects, side effects, consequences for getting it done as well as the drawbacks if I choose not to get it done. On any given day we never question our doctors, just go with the flow. But in our case, there is another life involved.

Thank you very much, but I WILL read up AND question you. Buckle up. It’s not that I don’t trust the doctor, but you will be surprised the number of times their sentence has changed from “you need to get this done” to “it’s your choice as its not mandatory by WHO standards”, whenever I questioned the necessity.

Please make yourself aware and take informed decisions. Come back again to know my labour and birth story:)