This is the first in the series of the posts by the guests, hosted here on my blog, Hfareen’s Space. And today I’m glad to be welcoming Lina, our very first guest, of The Adventures Of Mom-Mom to share her feelings on mothering a daughter and having fears of the “Daddy’s Girl” persona.
Walking is no easy feat, and moments after she begins to toddle, she attempts to run and slips on a stray book she’d left there. She cries harder when he is the one who finds her. Still, he attempts to comfort her. He does everything right, but she continues to cry, writhing in his arms to get away.
Goo reaches for me as if this man who’s holding her is a stranger, as if he’s done it all wrong and she needs me to make it better. My husband gives me the look, the one that lets me know he’s broken on the inside. He wants to know why she doesn’t love him. But she does. She just loves him in a different way.
Still, he chuckles as he hands her to me and her cries are silenced immediately. She wipes her nose on my shoulder, grabs my hand. Chris says to me:
“You know you love it.”
I look at him and give him the answer he might want to hear:
“It’s so exhausting, being the only one she’ll take.”
It’s not a lie. It can be frustrating when all I really want to do is take a shower, or eat something, or pee, and Goo’s cries ring throughout the house because Daddy’s not good enough. I feel bad for Chris. I want her to accept him. I want her to be able to relax, fall asleep with him, accept yogurt from his spoon. But at the same time…I am okay with being her superhero.
Because he’s right. I am so loving this.
Today Goo sees me as the one who comforts her, the one with the Goldfish crackers, the one who is warmest and smells just right. I love being able to engulf her in my arms, feel her head plop onto my shoulder as her tiny fingers stroke my wedding ring. Today I am her favorite. It sounds selfish, but I know it’s not, because one day she will not see me in this way. One day she is going to understand who Daddy is.
And then I will become a shadow.
Chris is a great dad. Not only does he give Goo the on-the-floor play time complete with kisses and “monster.” He also reads to her in high-pitched voices, straps on a dangerously feminine Boba carrier and wears her out in public, demands to push the stroller, and ignores when something has smeared glitter all over his Batman shirt (this is a giant feat, considering he is well-known in our family to be a sparkle-phobe).
So I know that it’s only going to be a matter of time before Goo discovers this world of Daddy, and my world becomes old news.
It’s a widely known fact that most girls become besties with their Daddy. This isn’t a new study, or something I read in Parenting magazine last week. The pictures of little feeties on polished black shoes as father-daughter practice for the many-years-from-then father-daughter dance at her wedding go way back, decades, a century.
One day Goo is going to wake up in her toddler bed, climb out, and crawl next to Daddy. Her little elbows are going to jab me in the side as she slowly edges me off the mattress, stealing the covers. When they wake, he will make her laugh. She will demand to be carried, hugged, snuggled, but only by him. He is her protector. He is her superhero. Daddy is strong. Daddy will make the monsters go away.
It will be both beautiful and lonely, bittersweet to say the least.
Then, my daughter will grow even older. She will show Daddy how tall she is compared to him, have him help her do math homework, build science projects with paper-mâché. He’ll make her chocolate milk–because he makes it better than Mom-Mom–and then they’ll snuggle in front of a movie, hogging the couch, projecting me to the cold floor in front of them.
And when my daughter is a teen, she will argue with the both of us, but Daddy is the one who will give in. He will give her the keys, she will kiss him on the cheek.
“Thanks Daddy. You’re the best.”
And I know I will have a role with my daughter. I will be able to watch her as she shops–because I will know nothing of her type of fashion–I will be able to help her with English, show her the best books to read, talk to her about boys. But who will she want to hold her, to pick up the pieces when a bully pokes fun at her new shoes, when she gets an F on her spelling test, when a boy dumps her for the first time?
When Goo was a wee babe, I was downright terrified that my snuggling moments were limited. Today, those worries melt a little when I watch the two loves of my life read stories and play on the floor together. There’s nothing sweeter than a daddy enjoying a tea party with his little girl.
Still, I can’t get enough of her mom-mom snuggles and especially-for-me kisses. She needs me today. She may not need me tomorrow.
But I will need her forever.
Lina is a stay-at-home momma to her greatest muse and a wife to her biggest fan. She enjoys cooking, taking pictures, and pretending she can sew. Come visit her at The Adventures of Mom-Mom!